WHAT'STHEPOINT

It's been a long time since i left you..

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 20:13:43 GMT

Well this is going to be a short entry. seeing how i'm at a library and you only get 30 minutes. Let's not get me started on how it takes 2 minutes to do anything. Well not much has been going on. All I do is look for a job, work on music( I should have an ep out within the next month or so), and hang out with the same great group of people. I'm also trying to meet a few new people. not so easy when you can be a bit shy and strange. well the good news is that i rode my bike to the library and now it's raining pretty bad now. How lucky for me. At least I have my windbreaker/rain coat. I think i might be updating on here more. I'm without an computer and have beaten my internet addiction. I'm sure it would come right back if i had a computer at home to sit in-front of till wee hours of the morning. well that's all i have for now......

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 01:01:07 GMT

It's been a long as time since i'v written in here. Not much new has been going on in my life. Just work which is tolerble at it's best. Then there is hanging out with friends and going to the same bar/bars. I want to move to New York (broklynn) this summer but not sure if that is in the cards just yet. My Cousin who I have become closer to again (at one time she was my right hand man and vice versa) wants me to move to San Diego. I'll just see where I go. But as for now Houston is home and i'm not Bitching. Well I am but that is what this city does best. Well with that I'M OUT...... Here is a pic of me now.......

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 23:06:45 GMT

i'll start with the bad and end with good.
Last sunday my grandma died. She moved out here 6 weeks ago. We knew she was ill and her time was short. I hadn't seen my grandma in a few years and before that it was a bunch of years. I grew up with my grandma when my mother had a drug problem. I had let most of my cali family disapear from my life. It hurt me so much when she passed. I'm just glad I got to spend some time with her. For the funeral the family came out here. it's not a big family and a bit dysfunctional. half love god and the other half have had a hard life at time. I grew up in the hard side. My cousin shannon grew up on that side too. she's pretty much my sister. She came and i got to see her. I forgot how much we are a like and how much i care for her and her sisters. This also lead me to realizing i am a jerk to my sister. Not a jerk but i could show her how much i care for her more often. Well it boils down to my nan is doing better now. she was in too much pain towards the end. She acted fine but that is just cause she is one tough lady. I realized i did still love my family and I dont' ever want to wait that long to see them again.

Some good news...
I got to see my fav cousins. I got to meet my 16 year old cousin who i havn't seen since she was 4 of 5. I absolutly love this girl. When i first met here she had something wrong with her teeth. She was 5ish and cried cause she got made fun. It just hurt when she was telling me all this when she was 5. Now she is a very pretty girl. she happends to be pretty damn cool. Her over 21 sisters really wanted to go see some bars in houston. I let my friends show then around and i hung out with her. I don't know but it felt real good to get to know her. I think me and her have a lot of things in common. But bla bla bla.....

Well one other good thing is I got a job. I am working in a file room for a mortage company. I can listen to my headphones why i file shit. How dope is that. But i'm not gonna stay there. I'm really thinking about becoming a real estate appraiser. My cousin does it and it sounds like something i would like to do. But who knows. So much is going on with me right now. I wont even go into the girl who has told me she really likes me and feels a connection with me...BUT she is seeing this guy i know. I told her look I would like to spend time with and see where it goes but as long as you are with anyone. I can't do anything. I've been cheated on and all that shit. I'm not trying to take part in that shit.....bla bla bla.

new things in my life.

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 23:02:07 GMT

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 01:40:06 GMT

I'll write you the album of the year....

This is it

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 20:04:55 GMT

I'm pretty much sick of the state of all things. The world, my life, day to day bullshit, going out, hookin up, staying at home. It's all pretty pointless. Why can't i find my meaning of life.

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 04:49:15 GMT

So Lately a lot of things have been bringing me down. I'm at the point right now, where i really want to just give up. My grandma moved in with my mom. She moved from California. I'm glad she moved here, but it sucks cause she is here to pass away. She has to breath with oxygen. I have also realized that I had a more fucked up childhood then I try to remember. But oh well I'm not letting all this shit get to me or am I? I have no clue cause I have always thought bad of myself and was embarrassed of my family growing up cause we where always poor. What I have realized is I am just a horrible person. My family has always been there for me, and i have been a jerk. I don't deserve all the help they have gave me. I don't deserve much of anything. Some days I just want to die. Other days I just want to go somewhere, anywhere. Leaving involves me finding the girl of my dreams. Something else that is not happening. When you are as bad as I am. No girl wants to date you. Hell I don't know what I want. I'm so sick of people and myself right now. The truth is. I'm so sick of myself that's it. Just sick of myself.......

BACK ON THE REG

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 16:07:34 GMT

I guess I will go back to updating this thing. For some reason I have not been sleeping too much latley. It sucks. I got up at like 6:30 this morning. There was no need for that. Not much has really been going on. Just been hanging out with some friends and trying to make a few new ones. Houston is okay. But I could move in a year or two for sure. Last night I went and hung out with some friends and we kinda worked on music. We might have to stop smoking so much to get shit done. I don't know. Maybe I'll just give up... Nah being negative is so last year for me. Okay it's actually so last minute. But you can't blame a guy for trying.....

i'm still alive in houston...

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 19:14:09 GMT

Damn it's been a long ass time since i have been here. so many things have happened. I got my apartment. Finally got settled in a bit. Still waiting for the internet to get hooked up there. Moving back to houston has been ok. There are a lot of fun shit to do but there is a lot of shady shit to do too. I just need to meet some new people maybe. I havnt' really been online in forever. That has been a good and bad thing. Other new things include my grandmother coming to live with my mother. I havnt' seen her in like 5 years. I also got to see my cousin who was pretty much my partner in crime growing up. I hadn't seen here in liek 10 years. It was so good to see here. She want's me to visit her in california soon. Well i'm at my parents visitin my grandma. So i better get going.

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 23:53:40 GMT

So I have moved. don't have the internet yet. But come next week i will. It's been a long two months with out was to talk to people. OH well. Things are going pretty good here in houston. there is a lot of fun to be had. I also have ran into an old friend and it's been super chill hanging out with him. We have been pretty much drinking and fucking around with music. well tha'ts it i'm at a friends house and have to jet..

to all my friends. Hello.

TWENTY TWENTY TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO GO...

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 05:56:54 GMT

I want to be sedated......

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 18:47:36 GMT

Well I don't really do this much. So i'm still without an apartment. But's that cause I think we are going to rent a house. Who knows I could just move to austin. This past weekend we went up to San Marcus to visit some friends and float down the river. I got a bit drunk I heard. We also went up to austin. I picked up some good cds. I got metric, broken spindel, passage,and the new owen ep. I can't stop listening to metric, and borken spindel are so sick. I'm going to see them next friday. Well on that note I have to buy my plea for peace tickets. So

I'M OUT

HAHAHAHAHA

Fri, 28 May 2004 18:33:20 GMT

Ha Ha you got caught talking shit. You where talking about someone else. Come on I thought you where cooler then that. You are so lame just confess you where talking about him. Don't lie. Pretty faces will get you far right? You don't fool me..

SO STRESSED OUT

Wed, 26 May 2004 14:37:55 GMT

Well There are a lot of things lately that have been driving me crazy. My mothers old computer and slow internet being one of them. The other being my friend. He's always slow only cares about his plans, leaves his pipe in my car and dosn't let me know (that would be fun for a cop to find that). He also likes to change cds when i'm driving. I've been real cool with this just tell him shit like don't fucking touch my cd player. Dont leave yoru fucking pipe in my car. I'm getting to the point where I just want to punch him in the face. I'm so sick of shit lately. I just want to move out and he's slowing that down too. Man I need to just screammmmm

Tue, 18 May 2004 20:18:58 GMT

Well I havn't really been doing much lately. I have not been updating. That's because i'm at my parents still looking for a place and wainting on taking a job. I need to just go and get a job. I'm in a bit of a lazy mode for this week. Next week i'm going to go do it. I need a place to live. I'm ready this driving back to my parents house shit has got to stop. Well since i have nothing really to say I guess this is it. I want to go to cali and hang out with my fav pretty girl.

Thu, 06 May 2004 18:01:03 GMT

Well it's been a while since I have updated. I'm still trying to get things together here in houston. I have been going out a bit but it's still not the same. I go out and meet up with a lot of friends, but it's just not like germany yet. This weekend i'm gonna go to Austin There are two parties we are invited to. It should be fun. I have also been eating not the greatest things latly. I need to just get my place and get my life going. I'm so lost right now. I wish some more people from germany would get ahold of me. There where those girls we met a couple weeks before we left. I havn't heard from them. Oh well seb said he met up with them out and things. I don't know i'm in the bit of a mood lately. I'm in somekind of middle ground. I'm always in a point of moving forward or giving up. No one can love you if you don't love yoruself. Hell I don't know what i'm babbling about. I'm not sure if i'll update for a while it dosn't really do much for me.

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 16:15:20 GMT

well not much new to report. I'm back in houston and it's pretty dope. I have seen pretty much all my friends and I forgot how great they where. I'm need to get a place to live real soon. My parents live too far away. well I wanted to see death cab last nigth but it was sold out. Today i'm going to get some plea for peace tickets hopefully they are not all sold out. well I have to get ready and go do some things. Still not use to the out of the Air force thing. But it's on.

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 23:36:36 GMT

well i'm driving back to houston tomorrow. Should be fun. wish me luck....

I GOT THIS FROM HER

Sun, 18 Apr 2004 03:27:42 GMT

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.

TEAM RAMROD

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 09:20:54 GMT

Well one more day and i'm out of the Air force. I will be flying back to the states tomorrow. I have been staying at a friends the last week. I am a bit burned out from all the fun. This past saturday we had a going away for me at the bar to we go to. It was really fun. I didn't realize how many people i knew here. It was a bit sad but hey what can you do. That's life. The good thing is i know I will keep in touch with a lot of people here. This town has become a second home to me. I love all the friends I have mad. Well now i'm at the library doing a lame update. Not really much to say. I could write about the last 10 days of out of control fun but I still tierd from it. when i get back home i will upload some pics of the shenanigans that went down.

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 10:06:14 GMT

I'm going crazy. I ordered and i pod off ebay about 2 1/2 weeks ago. They used DHL to ship it 3 day. I'm stationed overseas so I new it would take a bit longer. Well it was in Il. 2 weeks ago. I have about one more week to get it or I just wasted 460 bucks. I wanted the damn thing so when I fly home I will have a lot of music and not a lot to carry on my 12ish hour flight. I wish I would of just ordered it from wal mart. but i'm dumb and nothing works out for me. I guess i'm pretty pissed right now. I did send my records home today in the mail. It came out to $170 bucks. I get a good bit of it reimbursed to me by the military. Well I need to do something. Today is not a good day. One more day of work. Fuck this place.

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 05:13:02 GMT

Well everything has been pretty crazy lately. I am now out of my house. I"m staying with a friend I work with till friday. Friday is my last day of work. Then next week i'm staying at my friend sebastian's house. It should be pretty funny. This last weekend was pretty damn fun. Friday we just went out and met up with some girls we know. We ended up just drinking some beers and then going to seb's to listen to some music. Saturday was one of the funnest nights in a long time. First me and seb chilled all day being lazy. We even ordered some beers off the internet and had them deliver it. Thank you joey's pizza. Then that night we went and met up with Jens, Steffie, Gina, Borai, Alex, and a few others. We went to a party Steffie new about. To put it short it was a pretty good party. Everyone got a bit drunk and after a couple hours of having fun we headed to the fillmore for a Drum and Bass night. We met up with some more people, and the night just got better. Sandra, Amelie, Borai, and a few others pretty much danced for 2 hours straight. It was pretty fun night for being the most boring day.

I HATE MOVING

Thu, 25 Mar 2004 12:40:53 GMT

I really really do. I have so much stress going on in my head. Tomorrow i'm out of my house for good. I will be staying with friends for the next two weeks. Not a problem. I'm a skateboarder we have perfected the art of couch surfing. There are still a few things I need to do. One thing that was cool was the guys who moved my stuff one of them was a guy I see at the skatepark all the time. But man it really sucks being in my house with nothing in there. i'm a bit depressed lately. I'm torn between here and there. I wish I was stronger I don't like crying. I just dont' want to sit in my house alone. NO tv no music. Well I get down all the time but I also know everything will work out. Tomorrow night I get to see yamina again. I hope she shows up. I really enjoy talking to here and her friends. I'm not going to be drink so much lately i'm too emotional over the move it will only bring me down. Well i'm hungry so i'm out of here......

Mon, 22 Mar 2004 07:46:54 GMT

Well after two weeks off of work i'm back. Well for today only and some of tomorrow. Then next week is my last week for good. I'm in a bit of a tear between leaving germany. It really has become my second home. I love all the people I have met here so much. I'm sure when I get back to houston it will be a bit better. I just don't like the in between feeling. Thursday I get my stuff packed and then shipped to the states. I have been so bored at my house lately. Sitting there alone really suckes and gives me too much time to think of dumb shit that brings me down. I really wish I had someone to call. I just want someone to talk to. I keep kicking myself that I didn't get that girls number. At least I could hang out with her. I don't want to drink for a while but I have a feeling I will out of shear boredom. But today I am getting a new tat. I would take pics and post them but my computer is still down. I need to get it back before thursday so it will be shipped out also. So I guess as much as I want to I guess life hasn't sucked so much lately. well apart from being lonely and sad. But that's me all the time. I'm pretty pathetic.

WHY NOW

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 13:38:03 GMT

Well this weekend has been pretty good. I came home super early on saturday cause I had been drinking too much the last few days and it all caught up with me. Today I woke up and started to clean up and pack my records since i'm mailing them home. Not going to let the mover do that they mean too much to me. Well friday I went to the bar to meet up with teh girls me and borai met last week. There was two other girls with yamina. I like this girl yamina but I also think I have a crush on one of here friends. There girl are just some of the coolest girls I have met. It just sucks that I move in about 3 weeks. Why could I of not met them a year or two ago. Well what can you do it's just how life goes. We will meet them again this friday. I am going to tell them I am moving and would love to keep in contact with them. This one girl annaka (not sure how to spell any of there names.) is one of the prettiest girls I have ever met. She is also super funny and a smart ass. We pretty much just had a couple beers and talked about music which is always good for me. Then the said the thing I like to hear people say when you only meet them at bars. They said "we should hang out sometime when we are not drunk." I am dumb and didn't get there numbers. I think i'm scared to really get to know them cause leaving here is hard enough as it is. I don't want to leave with a huge crush. But i'll see what happens next friday. The only thing that sucks it that I will be out of my apartment by then so I have to stay at a friends. Well that's about it for now.....